Friday, June 22, 2007

Breaking News: A New Sequel

Aaj ki taaza khabar. Ram Gopal Verma Factory is planning a new sequel to be directed by one of his cronies, oops, assistants, — an editor or a dance master, my Khabri could not be specific (he was already tight, you see!). But he is sure about this information, pucca khabar, the sequel would star AB, his baby and their respective spouses. My khabri, you got to trust him, he’s one of the best in the business, and he claims to have seen one of the Factory resisters with all the stars names and dates booked.
What? Did you think I was talking about Sarkar 2? Hey, do you think I’m that daft? It’s not Sarkar 2 (For your information, plans for even Sarkar 3, 4 and 5 are already been made. The last one will feature the three generations of the Great Bachchan family. Okay, that’s different news.). This is completely new sequel, never before done by RGV and his Factory, and never being attempted in Bollywood till now. Even it’s a rare by Hollywood standards. Where have you seen the entire cast of the family coming together for not one but two movies together? It happens only in India!
Wait, wait, why such hurry? Why do you want to know which sequel? A sequel is a sequel, isn’t that sufficient to draw your attention? Why do you want to know the original film? If others can plan sequels of such ancient movies such as Tezaab or Khiladi, why can’t RGV Factory do that?
Factory can do better than that, you bet! So says my Khabri. (And mind you, don’t snigger, and don’t say a word against RGV, at least when my Khabri is around. Only yesterday night he was invited to a special private dinner of some hundred people at, where else, Taj Land’s End. Yeah, it’s the land’s end where the stars descend. Land is dirty, you see!)
Anyway, the fact of the matter is, Factory is planning a totally original movie with the Bachchan quadrangle, along with its original sequel. Sequels are hot these days and you must strike the iron, I mean, the deal, when it’s hot.
Here’s what my Khabri got from what he had overheard at the land’s end.
There would be an items number where senior B will appear in a felt-hat with lots of feathers on it and junior B will appear in a designer sherwani. Even the orders for the costumes are already been placed, and insider news is that there would be more than one item numbers. We are coming to that.
The story isn’t finalised yet. But the outline is something like this: Senior B will play a photographer based in Switzerland, no, no, that’s an old idea, probably, London or Cannes. At least one thing is sure. There would be one scene of junior B romancing Mrs ARB in Cannes. The shooting would be timed with the film festival, so that they get more Hollywood celebrity to dance in the background. One Mike Tyson isn’t enough.
So there is this photographer and his wife who stands on a stool to tie her husband’s tie. Their only son returns home from college for a holiday, with his girlfriend, and the senior falls for the junior’s girl. The climax is a top secret. Even Khabri does not have a clue. But the final showdown would be preceded by a final item number, at the Taj, in Agra. Talks are on with Rekha. If she declines for obvious reasons, Mallika Sherawat has agreed to step in.
Don’t worry; the sequel would have the same story and more item numbers. Talks are on to invite J Lo and Will Smith for a special jig. And there would be a new girl in AB baby life (don’t get ideas, only on screen). For that role RGV is rooting for certain Kapoor girl who is currently being tutored by another star maker. But you know the connection between the Kapoor surname and junior B. That’s the gimmick.
Another highlight of the sequel would be Mrs ARB appearing in her glory days of maternity. The half dozen screenwriters that Factory has hired have graduated from TV. So they understand the body clock of their actors. And the preview of the Bachchan superjunior would be the biggest scoop of all.
So folks, get ready for the sequel. It’s called Something Something Part Two. This Something Something would be the named of the original, which is not named yet. That’s what my Khabri says.

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