I love Himesh Reshammiya. No, I’m not joking or trying to pull your leg. I do sincerely love him. Let me explain. When Himesh Reshammiya appears on the TV, wearing his broken heart on his sleeves (actually all over his physique), and begins to wail, tera, tera, tera… (or something like that), it makes me feel good. You see, I had a breakup recently and am too nursing a broken heart. Whenever I hear Himesh wailing, I feel good. Poor guy, he looks like a heap of broken hearts, an unending fountain of tears, a paragon of all that is tragic. Compared to him,, I am nothing. I mean, man, compared to him, I am very happy. There’s already someone else in my life. Himesh makes me feel so good. And that’s why I love him. And that why I love the TV too. Whenever I feel low, I just switch on the TV and Himesh starts to wail afresh and I feel better already.
And that’s why I love the TV, even when Himesh is not around. There are several other things on the TV that make me feel good.
I am a certified couch potato. There was time when my well wishers advised me to go and hang out with my friends, if nothing else, burn some fat from my bum, but now I’ve got a good excuse. I’ve found a friend called Appy Fizz, the coolest cool drink to hang out with. I get a big bottle every day, and if someone appears to interrupt my love affair with the TV, I just point the bottle to him (mostly its her), and shout, can’t you see, I’m hanging out with my best buddy! In return, I get a taunt, you fatty… I feel sad and flip through the channels till I find one where Adnan Sami is crying his heart out. He too makes me feel good. If he can get all these women falling for him, why can’t I get one? I can and I will.
But one thing confuses me, that is, how fat is actually fat? Look at Adnan bhai. There was a time when he was officially fat. Then he shed a very larger number of weight, but, correct me if I’m wrong, he’s still fat, isn’t he? But look at him, how he’s flirting with that woman, touching her all over. After reducing how many kilos can you actually touch a woman on screen? If you remember his earlier videos, Adnan bhai and his muse would stand miles apart, he singing and she smiling or crying alternatively, depending on where she looks good. At the most, she would touch him through the long stem of a single rose. Now, after shedding a really large number of kgs, he’s got the ‘license to touch.’ If he can do that, why can’t I?
But no, I’m not starry-eyed! My TV has taught me not to be. I am what I am, thin or fat, black or brown, or white (what would I look like if I become white by applying those creams?). I won’t change even if my appearance does. I learnt it from that girl, who applied some cheap cream and turned very fair and landed up in a starring role in a film. But she won’t leave the stage, her first love. Instead, she will force her fans to suffer her stage performances. Now that’s I called bring grounded!
(Postscript: I am forced to join a gym these day. Okay. I may loose my kgs. But I am not going to change. I am not going to betray my dear TV.)
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